4.08.2014

kodak 400.

"the man i love died. he destroyed me, and then he died. and now i'm destroying myself." 
"remembering him is killing me. trying to forget him is killing me. either way, i feel like i'm going to die. i don't know what to do anymore."
i keep these film canisters in my makeup bag and i forgot about them until a few days ago when my
friend offered to do my face and accidentally spilled all the contents onto the counter.

i said, "oh yeah, those are old," as i remembered last labour day weekend when we drove past the park on the way to the bookstore and hung out in the backyard while my granddad barbecued corn, when we dodged mosquitoes and swept them off our limbs like it was a tarantella and whispered sweet nothings into the old phonograph, cajoling it to play chopin and

i think i only keep these canisters to remind myself you're not here anymore.

the funny thing about photographs is that they represent their own reality;
that somewhere behind the gloss finish you're smiling and still have time to breathe.
my granddad always says "what's passed has passed" and i think i want to join you there because

at least then you're still alive.
at least the current reality hasn't leaked into our frame.
(incidentally, all i see is darkness.)
(incidentally, i think that film expired when you did.)

i keep these film canisters in my makeup bag and i forgot about them until a few days ago when my
friend offered to do my face and accidentally spilled all the contents onto the counter.

i said, "oh yeah, those are old,"
and i think i have a hard time letting things go.

for two lovely girls who i strongly believe in.
-kiss kiss kiss, learn to live-
{pea ess: allow me to tell you your story.}

4.05.2014

to the most beautiful girl i've had the privilege of loving.

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Untitledby helayna.
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i spent months thinking about this, you know. i want going to write a poem, make a movie (that's probably still going to happen), say something really profound and meaningful, talk about the concert, things like that. and now it's finally here and i don't know what to say. 

i think--no, i know you made 2013 one of the best years of my life. and everything you are is special, and perfect, and begging for a nap. i think they want me to explain how much i love you and i'm not sure if that's possible, but let's suffice to say i don't know where i'd be if we hadn't connected. you're neptune (and my selfie companion), you're my favourite [and only] layna-cat, you're the sea and i'm the shore. 
happy seventeenth birthday, beauty. 3<
dear charlie,
i have a friend. i call her layna. but you can't. she wears black a lot. and her sister calls me goshbubbles. and she gives good hugs. and smells like home. and she's beautiful. unconventionally. and "i'm glad i didn't die before i met her." and it's true. and this one is forever. and i know you know that.
love, jo. 

4.02.2014

the forgotten frames || march.

Untitledi spring for ice cream.
H I D I N G //just touch just chemistry.
Untitledgolden-girl jo.
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i. i'm fascinated by the iris // ii. i spring for ice cream.
iii. pianos become the teeth and iv. la dispute for helayna's birthday (which is this saturday).
v., vi., and vii. i bought gold eyeliner.

i honestly don't know what to say about march. it seems like everything is fading away these days. i just need something to hold onto.
-kiss kiss kiss, tonight you look so-

3.30.2014

girl is a dream.

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girl is a dream.
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there are some people who you just need to walk right up to and say "you're so beautiful. why don't i know you?" and so it was. ayjay is homemade tattoos in the corridors of fingers. she brings a new definition to laughter, the impulsive kind that rises up in your throat and demands to sing.
she is good company, she has unapologetic passion, and she is good. these are the kind of friends worth keeping.

-kiss kiss kiss, my chemical-
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